A year of YES by Nicole McMath

Step one for me was to actually say YES to participating in this amazing blog and if I got past saying YES what the heck am I going to talk about. I often say No to things simply due to the fear of failure. If I cannot do something perfectly than why do it at all. I'm only setting myself up right? This fear of failure has led me to often avoid new situations, experiences, friends, family, and so on. So saying YES to Participate and Commit to the 29 Days of Yes Blog is my first move towards a year of YES! 

Step two for me is to stop making excuses for why I can't or shouldn't do things and start making plans and reasoning for how I Can and Should. My nature and mentality often have me on defense; time to score some shots and play offense for a change. The way I see it is defense = No and Offense = YES. From now on I am Cam Newton and I'm going to the super bowl this year. 

Step three is to make room for failure and imperfections. I am done seeing imperfections as failure; the rule book is done, gone, trashed, outta here *wipes hands clean*. My goal is to focus on the journey instead of the outcome. Focus on the knowledge gained and shared rather than the grade. Open my mind to imperfections and how I use them to my advantage. 

My last step in a year of YES is to say YES to me. At 18 I started to struggle with an eating disorder. I have always been thin/fit and life events (going off to school mixed with my parents getting divorced and few other things) hit me hard. I didn't know it at the time why I was struggling with my body image but I was. I'm 5'8" and was a whopping 100 pounds at my lowest. I truly would look in the mirror and think I was fat and disgusting. I'm 28 now and in a wonderful place both mentally and physically. Thinking back on those 6 years I have come a long way. I said all this to say, the mental struggle is still there- About 90% of my days are great but occasionally I have those bad, guilty days where I have to fight my head and extinguish the negative, disillusioned thoughts. My final step for a year of YES is to truly say YES to me and all of me. To love myself and my body. 

YES YES I CAN! 

Check out this video:
https://youtu.be/4QQsUq4odSU

Yes to Loving My Darkness by T Baker

When presented with the idea of saying “yes” in my life, I immediately cringed and saw a flashing red sign that read “challenge”.  What was funny was that I’d already told myself that 2016 was going to be the year that I challenged myself to grow and expand, to be the best me I could be.  Then I was presented with the ultimate challenge, say “yes!” Riigghhhtttt…. Be aware of what you put out into the universe…

So far, saying “yes” to the things that challenge me personally and will grow me has meant coming face to face with me fears and vulnerabilities.  What vulnerabilities? You may be asking this independent, ambitious, highly motivated, educated, black woman of the 21^st century…just wait for it.  But why was it so frightening to say yes to the things I really wanted?  To things that would push me to the next level?  Because like any other highly motivated, ambitious person, I have my own set of fear based demons (I hide them well).

In saying yes, I’ve uncovered that I had to become vulnerable and sit down with what makes me say “No” in the first place. I had to sit down with my fears and demons.  Sitting with the fears was a little easier than the demons. With the fears, I could name it, and allow my highly analytical mind to construct a logical, rational argument to quell and soothe the fear. However with the demons, ah the complex demons, I had to put in work. 

When dealing with demons, the first thing I thought I needed to do was purge them.  Purging demons!-sounded so easy. In my mind, purging a demon means holding it under water and drowning the crap out of it. In reality, and perhaps most beneficial, purging a demon means giving attention to that dark part of myself and loving it back to health. I used to be so quick to pledge my undying love to someone and vowing to love their dark parts, to love the cold void right out of them. I no longer volunteer to do this for other people, because we all know it usually never ends well. But how about I love my own dark parts? My own cold voids? And what would that look like?

So I did it, I set aside some time and got in good with my demon. My demon was wide and short, you see, demons eat self-hate and loathing for breakfast. My demon had gotten quite chunky. Anyway, I knelt down to my round chunky demon and asked “hey, there, demon monster, what’s your name?” My demon replied with gurgles, heavy breathing and a few explicatives “Tiha”.  Ahh crap, so there it is. Or rather, there she is, little, angry, disappointed, frustrated, severely neglected Tiha, was me, my inner child, long shut away and ignored.  Little Tiha had turned into a monster, my very own demon child, who threw tantrums and full on emotional assaults whenever I tried to move forward or grow without her. “I’m so sorry” I said to her. I pulled the monster demon child to me, gave her a hug and squeezed as much hurt and pain as I could out of her. I was going to love the darkness right up outta her. I was going to invite her into my heart, so she no longer had to live in that cold void.  She kicked, and screamed, scared and uncertain, but that was ok. Because loving her meant loving me. And loving me means saying “yes” to the loving, caring and nurturing things that will bring me closer to being the best Tiha I can be.  

 

P.S.  Tiha also said Yes to creating her website by the time of this post, check it out her website here  www.createyourpeace.life 

Yes to You Being You by Raiteshia Johnson

Heavenly Father,

 

It hurts. I hurt. The disappointments of this year hurt.  I feel I am suspended in the air floating in nothingness going no where. My head hurts from trying to figure out what to do, when to go, where to go, how to go Jehovah. How do I say yes to You, to me, to greatness?

 

Yes to the promise of You that are Yea and Amen?

Yes to You being a shield around me, bestowing glory on me and lifting up my head (Psalm 3:3)? Yes, to bless You at all times and Your praises to continually being in my mouth (Psalm 34:1)? Yes to accepting the beauty You have given me and not diminishing my light or uniqueness (Matthew 5:16; Psalm 139:14)?

 

Yes to hurting, but still moving? To love?

I hear what You say, to be still. That even hurts, but I will put on the whole amour of God and rest here Strong-Tower. Yes father, to You being all that I need, to the promises written down for my benefit.  Thank You for the gift of saying yes, even in my whisper.

 

In Jesus name, 

Amen.

Yes to Me by Erin G.

Yes

Today, I say "yes" to me.

Yes to my power and all of my strength.

All of my hurt and all of my shame.

All of my love and all of my pain.

Today I say "yes" to all of these things

Yes to my hopes and yes to my fears.

Yes to my joy and yes to my tears.

And not only do I say yes to me but I also say yes to Him. 

Yes to Him that guides from within.

Yes to His power and yes to His strength

Yes to the Holy Spirit that wants to embrace

A space within me like never before.

A scared dwelling place where His work can be performed.

As I speak yes to The Potter he will begin 

to strengthen, repair, bend and mend

A soul once fractured, ripped and worn. A soul in desperate need of a miracle performed.

So to this, I say "yes."

Yes to Him and His plan.

Yes to blessings and lessons from the Master's Hand

Yes to His protection, guidance and love 

Yes to becoming one with our Father above 

With a renewed sense of Peace deeply rooted in my soul, 

I say yes to Him like I've never said yes before.

I Say Yes to Me by Janice G Pettigrew

 

 

 

 

Reading  Shonda Rhimes A Year of Yes has only reinforced what I've been sharing with the women I work with. We deserve to say yes to ourselves in our lives and not wait for others to give us the approval. Shona's straight talk laced with a bit of humor encourages the reader to embark on their own personal journey of a Year of Yes. Here is my Journey to Yes

I Say Yes to Me

 

Yes, a simple little word. Yet it holds tremendous power. It is also a word that if you’ve ever experienced shame, heartache, disappointment or even things as domestic violence, abuse or sexual assault the thought of saying yes to new possibilities is nearly impossible.

I speak from my own life experience beginning at the young age of 13. I’ll never forget the excitement of going to the big kid’s school and no longer walking with my sister and brothers to the elementary school. The one thing I didn’t anticipate was the loneliness I felt and the need to be a part of the in-crowd.

I can admit it now as an adult that my desire to be a part of the group placed me in a position that caused me to be ganged-raped. Losing my virginity in such a violent way colored my perception of people both male and female for years afterwards. It was a shame I never told my parents. How could I do it? Well the 13 year old girl said, “It’s my fault”. So I carried the pain and shame like a new best friend.

Fast forward to my early twenties and still I made unwise choices and decisions that again put me in precarious situations resulting in two marriages steeped in domestic violence and abuse. By my late twenties I was very cynical and wary of everyone.  Add to it the fact I was now a single parent trying to raise two rumbustious boys. A recipe for disaster I admit considering my feelings about the opposite sex.

But God, in His infinite Wisdom, Grace and Mercy saw fit to have a very special person enter my life. And although I fought him on every turn eventually my walls began to crumble and a flicker of light peeked through my cloudy gray skies. My greatest obstacle to overcome was UNFORGIVENESS. Once I was able to truly forgive those who had caused me such pain and especially forgiving myself I finally realized I could say YES.

 I could say Yes, I’m worthy to be loved unconditionally.

I could say Yes, to being touched by loving protective hands.

I could say yes, to having eyes filled with love, respect and honor being cast upon me.

I could say Yes, to joy in my heart when my name was spoken from the lips of one who regarded me as a precious and cherished part of themselves.

I could say Yes, to walks in the rain and picnics in the park.

I could say Yes, to growing closer to another person until I couldn’t tell where one ends and the other begins because we’re so in tuned to each other and only want the best for each other.

I could say Yes, to a husband, who when I’m not at my best will come and give me a hug just because.

I can now say Yes, to sunny days and peaceful nights.

I can say Yes, to a faith beyond understanding.

Oh Joy I can now say Yes to cold lemonade, sweet iced tea, homemade ice cream and milk chocolate candy with a surprise inside.

I Say Yes to flowers sent to adorn my desk.

I Say Yes to a gentle kiss upon my forehead that makes my stomach quiver from excitement.

I Say yes to a smile from my husband that warms me to my toes.

Most important of all I say yes, to God’s Love but best of all I say yes, to loving me beyond measure. The lightness of my steps as I walk in this newfound freedom is one I want others like you to achieve as well.  And you can do it. All it takes is the first step and then the next and the next. Before you know it you too can begin to say yes to all of the possibilities that still await you regardless of what has happened before.

Now walk in that Love and watch the positive energy gravitate to you. Say “Yes I deserve this and so much more. I won’t settle for less because today I say yes to me!”

Thank you for allowing me to share in this experience.  I also have a blog called Fresh Start Mondays - https://freshstart4wmn.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

 

Yes to Failing First by Carla DuPont Huger

Cooking. UGH! Cooking has been the bane of my existence. Anyone who knows me
knows that I cannot cook. My mother’s mother passed away when she was nine and as a single mother who was very active in the community, we were rarely home for dinner. My father is a chef de jour, but when I visited him, he said I was on vacation. Either way, I didn’t get the gene or the lessons.

It never really appealed to me, the whole cooking thing. You slave over a hot stove for
what seems like hours and hours of stirring, mixing, chopping and seasoning. It seemed like too much. Then I had my son. I wanted to be able to cook for him, but could not even put together five meals. I tried a little bit, but the meat wouldn’t be cooked all the way and, of course the side dishes were always overdone. I gave up. To me, not being able to cook represented a huge failure; one I didn’t know how to overcome.

Having a conversation with my father one day, I admitted to him the reason I couldn’t
cook was because of my failures. He laughed and said, “I wish you knew how much food I messed up. The only way to learn is to try.” Hearing him say that as a caterer really lit my fire. From that moment on, I have been burning up something. I got a Pinterest board for recipes and cool movie night snacks to try with the kids. I try to think outside of the box so my family doesn’t get bored with breakfast or dinner. 

I am saying “YES” to being able to cook…or at least trying and not being afraid to put salt, ketchup and sriracha on the table when I’m done. Salt, ketchup and sriracha make
everything taste better.