Yes to Gratefulness by Kathi Middleton

this being human is a guest house
every morning a new arrival
a joy, a depression, a meanness
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor

welcome and entertain them all!

be grateful for whoever comes
because each has been sent
as a guide

Lyrics from the song Kaleidoscope

Cold Plays Album, A Head Full of Dreams

This song makes my heart smile!  This year I am upholding my commitment to saying, Yes to Gratefulness.  What am I grateful for? EVERYTHING, including the things that make me hurt, strive, smile, learn, scared, trust and occasionally lust.  In the past I practiced “selective gratefulness”.  I chose to only be grateful the people, places and things that made me feel GREAT! I complained and ran from evertthinhg else.  You can imagine that I missed out on A LOT!  

I am no longer running,  instead I am reminded daily that life is here to teach us and strengthen us to empower one another along the way.  This journey through life is going to present things that hurt and that is OK, don’t run from it.  Other times, life is going to present moments that feel insanely good, don’t run from those either.  Be grateful for it all.    

In the book, “Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person”, Shonda Rhimes shares valuable and intimate personal stories of how saying “Yes” for a year transformed her life.  One of my favorite pieces of wisdom from the book, is when Shonda acknowledges that, Women Can Have It All, Just Not All At the Same Time.  With this understanding, we can then be grateful when things are splendid at home and frantic at our business. Or when a close friendship is going through a rough patch and our health is thriving.  Or when you forget to submit a report at work and your child earned a perfect score on the test that you helped them study for all weekend.  In an ideal world, we would have perfect harmony and balance and all would be well. However, that’s not reality – at least not mine, and thus I chose to be grateful for it all.

I can imagine that someone is reading this and thinking, “This is impossible” or “I have a real life”.   However this is not about saying yes to things that don’t serve anyone or being in denial about real pain and suffering.  This is about stepping out of our comfort zone and finding gratefulness no matter what comes your way.  This is possible by recognizing that any trouble or joy that comes is here to teach us, make us wiser, stronger and grateful.  A few years ago, I begin to say Yes to things that were uncomfortable and the payoff has been invaluable.  The self-assurance, renewed faith, personal insight, relationships, love and gratefulness has changed my life.  When things show up that scare me and I want to run the other way, I talk myself off the ledge by choosing gratefulness and trusting the process.

To all of the bloggers and readers, I would like to express my sincere gratitude.  To express oneself in an attempt to support another is one of the most powerful opportunities that each of us have.  I thank God for allowing us to embark on this "Journey of Yes" together.  Cheers to an Amazing 2016! May all of your best dreams come true! YES, to realizing our dreams and being grateful throughout the journey.

With a heart full of gratefulness
Kathi

Yes to FREEDOM by Fallon Trenise

"She said Yes to FREEDOM"

She was desperate. She was depressed. She was overweight. She was disgusted with herself. She was losing chunks of her hair due to medication and stress. She was smiling on the outside.  She was dying on the inside.  She had done the "right" thing. The "normal" thing.  She went to school,  She got her Master's degree and passed her CPA exam on the first try.  She moved to Atlanta after graduate school and got a "good paying" Corporate Job, but was still flat broke.  She was living paycheck to paycheck. She had $240,000 in student loan debt. She was crushed under the weight of this responsibility and seemingly unbearable burden. She would hide and cry every week in the conference room at a job she hated with a boss who hated her as much as she hated sitting in that cube every day. She felt like her very life was being sucked out of her walking into that building every day.  She knew she was destined for MORE. Greater. Different.  She started a non-profit and wanted to pursue her passion of helping others, but could not afford to devote time or energy to it with her lack of finances and freedom of time. She was frustrated. She was fed up. She was STUCK. 

This was until December 2015, when she decided to pursue her happy again. She started with an internal transformation and having a grateful heart rather than focusing on everything that was wrong in her life. All of the pieces started coming together and she saw a light at the end of the tunnel.  In March 2015, she was introduced to It Works! Global, an all-natural health and wellness company.  She lost nearly 30 pounds, started her own business, earned $11,000 in bonuses in 75 days, and six months later retired from Corporate America – all at 28 years old! She said YES to Freedom even when friends and family who genuinely had her best interest at heart discouraged her from joining a network marketing company. She said YES to Freedom even when they laughed and were unsupportive.  She said YES when People said no. She said YES when people thought she was crazy for leaving Delta Air Lines. She said YES to Freedom through the tears. She said YES to Freedom when people talked behind her back and unfollowed & unfriended her on social media. She said YES when no one showed up. But She NEVER gave up.

Now she has freedom of time. Freedom in her finances. Freedom to travel. Freedom to empower others to pursue their passions!  As of yesterday, she is charted for Presidential Diamond ($17,000/month), the second highest rank in the company and a $150,000 bonus to help wipe out her student loan debt.  The best part is that she has now brought over 2,000 individuals all over the world on the same FREEDOM journey with her.  

She is ME! I am finally walking in my purpose. I am happy. I am helping others gain physical and financial freedom. I am now working on my non-profit that I started two years ago, and I am so excited about the hundreds of thousands of lives that will be touched because of my YES. God truly has BIGGER and BETTER if you trust Him to lead you.

Fight through the No's for your family. For your future. For your FREEDOM. My prayer is that you say YES. 

FreedomWithFallon.com

Yes to Saying No by Shaton Robinson

Say YES to Saying No!

Something that I have always struggled with is setting boundaries and allowing not only people but myself as well coerce me into always saying yes. When I’m tired, uncomfortable, and busy or just want to be plain ole lazy I would say yes to whatever the task was (given it was ethical).  I started to realize that I was taking care of others more than I was taking care of myself.  It left me feeling totally exhausted and I came to the realization that I simply cannot do everything.  If you aren’t taking care of yourself then you can’t take care of people around you.  Being a "hard charging people person" (even by job description) this was and is still a hard nuance to rationalize. 

I’m realizing in life that the ability to say no is an infrequent and valuable skill.  Learning to say no is extremely important and it was important for me to soul search, especially while I was pregnant, to understand why.  The answer that I discovered, was that it is essential in order to devote more time and energy to the things that matter most.  Initially when I started this process it was a little hard and I felt really guilty.  I am now happy that it has given me more time to focus on the things that I’m happy to say YES to.

Yes to an All You Can Be Attitude by Iwancia Middleton

As I sit starring out my bedroom window contemplating on what a” Year of Yes” means to me, I realized that I must first analyze what the word yes means to me.  This is a powerful word.  It has so many different meaning and it changes based on the perception of the person utilizing it.  As I broke the letters down in the word yes, I quickly envisioned how this word will transform the year 2016. 

Y(yielding)to produce

E(exemplary) serving as a desirable model; representing the best of its kind

S(splendor) magnificent and splendid appearance
                             

Yielding

I quickly envisioned a year where I produce a no limits attitude.  In the past I’ve settled for things in my life that didn’t encourage, engage or enhance my life, but no more.  I had to realize that I’m capable of being the director, the Vice president and even the CEO. I have been my own worst adversary, however today is a new day and Yes I am worth and accomplished enough to be much more.  I will steadily move forward and strive to reach all my goals.

Exemplary

I grew up in an era where young African American women were taught of woman of color whose accomplishments changed and molded history for example:

Madam C.J. Walker (first black self-made millionaire)

Shirley Chisholm (first black woman elected to congress)

Ida B Wells (pioneer in media and communication)

However today we have lost our vision.  We have our female youth saying yes to twerking, low self-esteem and envy.  Now don’t get me wrong we have some amazing woman in leadership, but we don’t talk or educate our youth about them and this must change.  I was fortunate enough to have a mom who was fully engaged in the civil rights movement and consistently reinforced the worth of my culture and presenting as a role model for me and my peers. So, today I am saying yes to education, representation (being a role model), and encouragement of our young female African American youth in the hopes that they will in return pay it forward.

Splendor

Last, we all must continually radiate our own splendor.  How will I do this, you may ask?  First, a splendid appearance comes from within.  It starts with your spirituality and for me it’s my faith in God. Having faith in God, teaches me that I am not perfect, and nor are my peers, family and friends.  With this knowledge I can say “Yes” to transforming my flaws and radiating my beauty out to others.  I will release my critical personality and embrace a more forgiving, encouraging personality towards myself and others. 

In conclusion, my “Year of Yes” will be fulfilling, providing my life with substance and completeness.  I will present an “all you can be attitude” and lastly I will surround myself with some of the most amazing woman of color this world has to offer (for example my fellow bloggers).  May God fill your lives with beauty, grace, knowledge and style.

Yes to Motherhood by DeAndrea Beaven

Yes to Motherhood

From the “I’m too Busy Girl”

I am going to spare you a long paragraph of soul searching….it’s self-serving and boring! I am going to get to the “Nitti Gritty” of it all because that is what everyone truly wants and people really appreciate the transparency.

I’m a new Mother, when I say new I mean BRAND new! Her name is Weslie, she is 2 months old, I am covered in spit up and my hair is barely combed….yep she’s that new. I love her because ideally she makes me a better person. I adore her because she is teaching me patience. She also forced me to slow down and take more time to smell the roses (Yes it’s cliché but you get it.

Previous to me being a Mother, I was always “Too Busy.” I was too busy for my family, at times too busy for worship and a lot of times too busy to be a present wife. To be honest things began to suffer, I began to suffer there never seemed to be enough hours in the day and I was tired, literally lay in the bed and slip into a coma tired. Then things changed, I became In the Family Way (my Grandmother’s way of saying that I was expecting) and nothing slows you down like a little morning sickness and back pain. Don’t get me wrong I could still do stuff just not as quickly and not nearly as efficiently. So instead of volunteering as much as I wanted, working as long as I needed, visiting the people I needed to visit I was forced to sit. I had a great pregnancy and I wasn’t on bed rest, but as any Mother/Expecting Mother will tell you, I had to literally chill out, and it made me impatient and it made me angry, it tested my patience and instead of enjoying my pregnancy the way I should’ve I just wanted to feel like myself again and be able to move around without getting so sleepy. I know…..ungrateful right?

Finally my daughter came and nothing really slows you down like a somewhat fussy baby and a C Section. On top of that, having to carry 1 million things with you if you wanted to leave the house. However, the experience has made me much more patient. My daughter is not a morning person and she requires at least one hour of cuddle time with Mommy. This means I can’t rush to the gym, I can’t wake up grab a tea and go. I can’t sleep until the last minute, get dressed and run out of the door. I wake up, grab Wes V and we get in the recliner for a good hour before the day begins and I am beyond grateful for this, and I have never felt so fulfilled in my entire life. I realize that I was so busy making a living I was not making a life, so I have officially decided to not just embrace it, but be grateful for it. There are still a Million Things I need to do, but until cuddle time is over, none of it really matters.

Yes to Me by Vanessa Davis

My Yes Experience!

All of my life I have felt something pushing me, pulling me, coaxing me to do things on my own.  I've had all kinds of ideas for businesses. I half pursued a few in my life. I took my first job at 13 years of age. I changed my birth certificate to state that I was 15 and started to explore the joys of actually making money! I was hooked! Every time I took a job from then on I was a supervisor, a key holder, a lead, a manager. I thought "This works for me", so I continued to pursue these types of positions, but in the back of my mind I still wanted to own my on business. In college I started a photography business, while attending school and still working for a major retailer. I was very proud of my accomplishment and I did well.

Inevitably, life happened (as it does with us all); I had a baby, got married, and had another baby, got divorced. At that point, life was about survival. I sometimes received child support and sometimes did not, but always had to take care of my babies.  Therefore, I was forced to give up any dreams of entrepreneurship and work for someone else full time (all of the time), and go back to school.  At one point I was working between 50 and 60 hours a week and going to school full-time. It has all been worth it but.......I was never really saying YES TO ME!  I know graduating from college is a major accomplishment, but I was really just going to ensure I could always have better jobs working for other people.  So really, I did not feel like that was saying YES TO ME! Now, don't get me wrong I have never had the desire to work for anyone else. I do not think entrepreneurship is for everyone. I know that there are people who take great pride in working a 9 to 5 and I applaud their efforts. As for me, even in college I would take entrepreneurship classes, if that tells you anything.

My children have grown to be wonderful, intelligent young people. I am so proud of them and proud of the fact that I took the time out to raise them and put them on the right path. I do feel like I said YES TO ME for that. I never have to look back and say I should have pay more attention or I could have done better with them.  I really feel like I have make wonderful decisions with them.  My son will soon be 15 recently went to live with his father. The jury is still out on this one, but I feel like it was the best decision for him.  I am not a man and there is no man in my house to teach him how to be a man, so I felt it was best.  His father has been asking for him for years.  I felt it would be selfish of me to say no any longer.  He is no longer a baby.  He is growing into a Man. My daughter is almost 18, graduating in May and going to college. Again not YES TO ME! Yes to them, but I am glad to have said yes to them.

Soon it will just be me! If I don't say YES TO ME now, something is seriously wrong! 

Well, I have thought about this for a while.  So, I have been preparing to say YES TO ME for a couple of years now.  A little over 2 years ago I bought a brand new car, and my second home and then I QUIT MY JOB!  It was a hard decision to make.  At times, I felt like I had lost my mind! Who does that!  However, it has been totally worth it! I finally started my own business(es), something I felt the need to do all of my life. 

The hardest thing I've ever done! The hardest job I've ever had! 

One of the greatest joys I've ever felt and the most peace I've ever enjoyed!  I LOVE IT!

I don't know why it took so long to do what God has been pushing me to do all along.  I do know that he has perfect timing.  Perhaps, I was suppose to be learning from all of those experiences and they prepared me to say YES TO ME finally!

I would suggest to everyone to follow the GOD given passions in their lives! I have more to explore! I am excited to see what happens next!

Yes to Debt Free by Bridgette Stephens

Have you ever been asked the question, “Are you debt free?” Most people would answer this question, by saying, I really do not have much debt and go on to say, just my car payment, and I pay off my credit card every month or every other month, and so on. Of course, neglecting the gigantic debt of student loans, hoping they will somehow just disappear. Well, that used to be my answer as well, before a complete transformation in my perspective on money.  Perhaps you may be able to relate, the feelings of been overwhelmed with having to work to make payments, not able to chase some dreams that lie deep in your heart, not able to take the vacations you desire, not able to give more when you would like to,  and so forth. Finally, I decide I will no longer be bound up with finances and say, “YES” to embarking on a debt free journey.

I decided to gain knowledge of God’s perspective on being a great steward over the things HE has entrusted me with, and it has transformed my view of money as seeing it as fuel units.  A few key scriptures that have been very insightful for my debt free journey are listed below.

·         Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. (Romans 13:7 NIV)

This scripture teaches us to pay everyone what you owe….

·         Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. (Romans 13:8 NIV)

This scripture clearly instructs us to leave no debt outstanding, pay if off as quickly as possible.

·         The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender. (Proverbs 22:7 NIV)

Debt is not a sin, yet to be a “slave” is not a good thing-Jesus came to set us free…..do not be wrap up in financial bondage, distracts you from fulfilling God’s assignments….

·         The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously; (Psalm 37:21 NIV)

God wants us to be extravagant givers. As believers, debt should be avoided as much as possible. God does not ask anyone to borrow to complete HIS work, or any assignment HE gives to you. Debt makes it more difficult for Christians to serve God, especially when you mind is bogged down with what you may be called to do, and the reality of your current situation.

Awesome news, God is able to do immeasurable more than you can ask and imagine! I am so amazed at how I took the steps to become debt free, doing my best in the natural by getting up early, living on a written budget, making smart money moves, seeking ways to increase cash flow, selling items, and tackling one debt at a time with full force. Do your best in the natural, God will handle the rest in the supernatural!

I decided to divide my debts into two sections: consumer debts and student loan debts. This allowed me to celebrate once a list was complete. I am super please to share that I started on 05/07/2014, and six months later on 11/06/2014, paid off all consumer debt, total of $27,817.21. I started student loan debts on 01/01/2015, now have paid off six out of seven loans ($48, 418.24), and will be complete by end of March 2016, total of $63,489.17. Grand total of both lists….$91,306.38!! Screaming to the top of my lungs, I am DEBT FREE!!! Cash is king!! To GOD be the glory!! Investing for the future, so that I may leave a legacy!!

Lastly, getting out of debt will not happen quickly, be patient. Pray for strength, perseverance, and fresh ideas as everything begins with a thought. Work hard while you are young, so that your latter days will be your best days!

The Truth about ME by Funmi Camp

The truth is...I know no truth. I've been struggling all my life to find a genuine, truthful happiness for myself. Trying to make myself fit into space where I didn't belong. Yearning for approval from people who would never accept me. Pretending to be like people who I knew I never truly desired to be like. Wanting material things that never really fulfilled my longing to be happy.

When I was first approached about the "Yes Blog" my initial thoughts were..."Oh NO! Saying yes to everything all these years is what has brought me to this point: my enough is ENOUGH point! So this year, I am saying yes to saying NO!

I am saying yes to saying NO to all of those toxic relationships which only push me away from God. I am saying yes to saying NO to things that are not from God and of God.
I am saying yes to saying NO to those spaces of which I do not belong.
I am saying yes to saying NO to seeking approval from others because those who truly love me have already accepted me...and all of my faults and mishaps.
I am saying yes to saying NO to unfaithfulness, unhappiness and just plain old MESS!

I will, however, continue to say YESSS  to saying yes to God! Putting Him first and His plan for me because I know this is the only place where I will experience the genuine and truthful happiness that my heart desires!

God Bless!

YES to the “Un” by Dr. Tiffany Mikia Stubbs

Dear 20 year old Tiffany:

You spent a decade, apologizing when people didn’t understand you….you poured out, when you really needed rest. So, it’s no wonder that you find yourself:
“unmasked and unidentified in this abyss of unexplained emotions.” I’m most grateful that you heeded the instructions of you big sister, to read,
“THE BEST YES: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands”.
Although it took you days, months, and even a year before you indulged in the initiation of your journey to becoming relentlessly free, unbound to people’s demands, I’m so proud and also currently benefitting from your courage. I remember your epiphany vividly, as night after night you vigorously read through “The Best Yes,”  by Lysa Terkeurst”.  Do you remember, how you felt, when the words begin to illuminate your situation and you felt like yes, my ignition is back on….I’m going after this!  I will ““Find that courageous yes. Fight for that confident no.”   At that moment reading that powerful quote, you understood how essential it was to making boundaries with people, so that you could get out of “yes, because you felt bad,  and not saying “no” because you were plagued with guilt. I’m most enthusiastic at your progress. I have seen you actively decided to act on your courageous YES and fight for that confident no, so in doing that, you have learned to embrace power of the prefix “un”…..
YES to being unapologetic, unavailable and unsure…

Your journey is remarkable and I love to see your progress, as you courageously stand to say, YES, I’m unapologetically myself,  I don’t have to apologize for my personality, my choice of style or even when people don’t understand me.  That all is well, because as written in Psalms 139:14, I give praises to my Heavenly Father for making me….. “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. Psalms 139:14 (TLB)

Yes to being unavailable, you can’t be available to everyone all the time. I see you learning, slowly but surely, that God calls you to rest. It’s in the moments of your resting, you hear HIM most succinctly. I’m marveled and proud of how you evolved to saying, yes to being unsure, that in essence, It’s okay to make a decision, without knowing all of the ins and outs of the process, but trusting in that GOD’s leading you and it all works for your good (Romans 8:28).  So there you stand with your COURAGEOUS YES!! Yes to being unapologetically Tiffany, free to be unavailable without the attachment of feeling guilty and chained to others’ demands and expectations….and lastly, yes to being unsure of your limited vision to see how GOD is working behind the scenes, molding you through your process so that you can emerge fully equipped to receive all of my prophetic promises!
— Signed Yours Truly,
The 30 Year Old Tiffany :-)
Unapologetically Free
Dr. Tiffany Mikia Stubbs

Yes to God’s Purpose For My Life by Phylicia Joi Morgan

            As far as I can remember, for some reason I always like going to see my pediatrician.  Everyone was so nice and I knew they were there to help me. Before attending high school, my dad gave me the book “Gifted Hands” by Dr. Ben Carson to read.  Dr. Ben Carson then became my first famous role model and one of the reasons I knew I could be whatever I wanted, no matter the obstacles ahead.  I attended a catholic high school and community service was required.  I decided to call my pediatric office and asked if they let high school students volunteer. To my surprise, they did, and I was able to work in the business office.  I mostly did filing of charts and learned how billing was performed.   Later my first job was in the summer of my 10^th grade year through the Division of Youth Service (DYS).  This program was offered through the city of Birmingham, AL.  This summer program was to prepare students for job interviews and certain work ethics.  We had to find our own job and where did I go? Yes, back to my pediatrician office.  Since I had volunteered in the business office during community service I was now able to help triarge with the nurses.  Unknowingly I was learning my way around the office. 

            Later I went on to college to major in Biology at Tuskegee University.  I took a KAPLAN MCAT course after graduating but my score wasn’t high enough for entrance into medical school.  I later deviated from my path and thought maybe I will try a master’s in nutrition and it would be a GPA booster for my entrance into medical school.  I could go to school for free and get paid for my research.  So, I went back to Tuskegee where I did extensive research with a thesis entitled “"Fresh and Freeze-Dried Purslane Extracts Anti-Proliferative Effects on Human Prostate and Colorectal Cancer Cell Lines".  I then decided to apply for the Anesthesiologist Assistant program toward the end of my graduate year at NOVA Southeastern University in Florida.  The program requires that you shadowed an anesthesiologist, anesthesiologist assistant, or a nurse anesthetics (NA) for so many hours. I then realized that was not for me when I asked the NA what was the worst thing about her job and she replied you can put a person to sleep but don’t know if you can wake them up.  That scared me and made me realize I didn’t want that to be on my conscious.

             So, after completing graduate school I came home to shadow both of my Pediatricians, who had played influential roles in my life as my doctors and role model.  They gave me so many opportunities to see every aspect of their office, Metro Pediatrics.  I didn’t realize until shadowing, how having the background in nutrition was an added bonus to my dream of becoming a future pediatrician until that doctor made it known to me and her patients.  So I eventually went to my job that I had right after undergrad, in a lab called BioLife Plasma services testing plasma for different diseases.  After taking the MCAT again for the second time but with a different study method, that improved my score but not quite, I was feeling defeated.

            Then a really good friend connected me with an individual that went to a Caribbean medical school.  After I spoke with that person I decided to do my own research and applied to International American University (IAU) Medical College, where I got accepted. My dream of becoming a pediatrician was not deferred but only delayed.  The delay only prepared me for the greatest challenge ever, MEDICAL SCHOOL in a FOREIGN Country.  So it seems that all I had to do was fully commit to what I really wanted to do and when I did I said yes to everything.  YES, to moving to a foreign country.  Yes, to leaving family and friends.  Yes to leaving my comfort zone.  Yes to leaving a 9 month relationship for it to only end badly within 3 months of me being on the island while they were in the States.  Yes to obtaining an online master’s degree in Heath Care Administration while in medical school.  I said Yes to meeting and learning about different cultures, religions, and backgrounds.  I said yes to a new set of friends and family that don’t look like me.  My life has been forever changed and I will never forget my experience living in St. Lucia.  I have Tuskegee University to thank for preparing me for difficult and challenging situations living in a 3^rd world country.   I am now done with all of my medical school courses and studying for USMLE Step 1 as a 3^rd year medical student.  Fast forwarding to today I have said Yes to love and trust, with someone who supports me and understand the importance of this journey to me.  With that breakup I had starting medical school I figured not again on this journey to my dream, but God saw differently.  You will take your journey for your dream alone because it’s your destiny, but only few can endure your journey challenge with you.  My favorite quote and story of my life it seems, is “the race is not given to the swift but the one that endures it”.  I am an OVERCOMER!!!

Saying Yes to being a Faithful Servant by Nafeesah Williams

I woke up a couple of Sunday's ago and told myself I need to get up and go to church. I had been unsuccessful prior Sundays and would find myself making excuses because of my transition in life with my marriage, work, school, kids and the list go on. So I came home early that Saturday evening and set my clothes out so I wouldn't have any excuses. When I am determined to go I usually reach out to my Bestie to hold me accountable to making it to service on time the night before.

On my way to church I realized that the service at the location where she attended had already started. Quickly the enemy tried to kick in and say don't go you are already late, or just go to another church location. I was steadfast in my decision to go ahead and go anyway regardless of whatever word I was able to hear, some is better than none.. From what I was able to receive the Pastor was sharing how it's hard to be a faithful servant at times especially when the enemy tries to step into the situation when you are being a blessing to someone in need. He tickled me because he shared how he was out helping a family and was able to put them in a hotel and provide food and there was another young lady who was in need and was upset because she wasn't able to be put in a hotel. She stated that she wasn't staying in a shelter and he explained that he didn't because she didn't have any kids. He then questioned why he even was in the ministry because of the attitude of the woman who didn't seem appreciative of the help.  God doesn't have the physical hands to do the work so he needs his children who are vessels and faithful servants to serve no matter what the outcome or situation is. It is not about us it's about what God wants to get done through us. If there are not servants who can God use to do the his work?

After church we went out to have breakfast  and some shopping therapy and really had a great time together. We left feeling empowered  as we always do and I was ready to start my week. I went to Wal-Mart and did a little shopping and saw two young ladies with pajama clothes on in the cold and their 2month old baby and 4 year old son. They asked for help and I stopped to see what they needed. My first thought was they out here hustling with these kids and to keep walking. At that very moment I heard my "YES" from God to be a faithful servant as I walked to my car to put my groceries up. I came back and  they were in shock that I returned to help them. They asked  could they get $20.00 worth of groceries and God said let them get what they need.  I prayed before I helped them because I wanted to be sure that I was fulfilling what God wanted me to do. I had so many questions that I wanted to ask and I heard God say "Be quiet and just serve". They told me their story of how they got into their position and my heart went out to them. God allowed me to help them with groceries for the week and provide shelter for their hotel. We prayed in the store after checking out and my prayer was that their days would turn around for the good and to trust in God to continue to make a way. People walked up to me and said you shouldn't have did that they using them kids, or they trying to set you up to rob you. All I could focus on was God said "YES". The feeling that I receive being a blessing to someone and obedient is priceless.  It was confirmation to move forward with my goals to help younger women get on their feet and equip them with the tools and resources to be able to do so. I thank God for obedience and being in a place to even hear a "YES" because there are times when we can easily convince ourselves to hear "NO" or simply too caught up into our own situations and life's obstacles that we miss an opportunity to be A FAITHFUL SERVANT! 

Yes to my Mess! by Darlene Sheardon

Yes to my Mess!

LORD IF YOU CAN JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS MESS!

Am I the only one who has asked this of God?

I cleaned up well when I was out and about yet my spirit was in shambles and the walls of my heart and mind was in total disarray. My footing was not on solid ground but more like quick sand that hardened into concrete. My life was in a quandary and the dilemma I was dealing with was both embarrassing and shameful. Excuse my mess was my apologetic way of dealing with my house not being in order…..Like a hoarder my mental state of mind was a reflection of the chaos that was  evident but I had found a way to be comfortable in it.

I guess I need to address what my mess was. Domestic Abuse/Violence also known as Intimate Partner Abuse/Violence!  One in every 4 women has lived, is living and unfortunately will live in a relationship mess known as Domestic Violence/Intimate Partner abuse.  It is a dirty little secret that messes up the lives of numerous families. 

I was truly a Hot Mess.  Tore up from the floor up.

LORD IF YOU CAN JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS MESS!

Prayer answered!

I left, along with my toddler daughter, with just the clothes on our backs and my child’s diaper bag.  There was a lesson in that deliverance…no need to carry baggage from the mess I was leaving….I was getting the opportunity to start over with a clean slate.

I got delivered from the mess through the Grace/Mercy and Power of God.

I know I am one of the fortunate ones who escaped safely and for many years I wanted to put my life of abuse behind me.  Thanks to the support of family, counseling, along with support groups I was able to make sense of the mess I had lived through. I went from being a victim to becoming a victor.  This should have been the end of my story but it became another beginning.  God took the distress of my mess and transformed it to bless. I survived and today I Thrive.  God took my misery and transformed it to my ministry of NuRevelations.

 I say Yes to my Mess.   It no longer identifies me. It happened to me and because of it I am more empathetic and can sympathize with others. 

Yes to my Mess has given me the passion and desire to motivate others to discover their purpose and have healthy, happy, safe, abuse free and Loving relationships!

Yes to my Mess has granted me the platform to have a vlog entitled

“Stop in the Name of Love” - in order to think things over so abuse won’t break your heart!

Yes to my Mess has granted me the opportunity to be an advocate and

Conduct seminars and workshops bringing awareness, education, prevention of domestic and child abuse.

Yes to my Mess has granted me the platform to

Conduct Relationship seminars for healthy dating and healthy communication in Marriages.

Yes to my Mess has granted me the platform to

Empower and motivate others to Live our Lives by Divine Design!

Could it be that your Mess will be your YES…it has been for me.

 

Website www.nurevelations.com

FB  https://www.facebook.com/nurevelations/

Phone 404.285.0154

NuRevelations, LLC, is a faith-based organization with a mission to Empower and Motivate everyone to Obtain God’s Purpose for their lives through seminars and workshops that present the tools and materials proven necessary and beneficial in developing a God-centered life plan. NuRevelations literally means, "In You, God has revelations for your life."  Darlene embraces the concept that we are to “Live Our Lives by Divine Design”!

Yes to my Accomplishments by Latoya Ward

Throughout my life I have often thought to myself that whatever I did was not enough. Where did this thinking come from? When did it actually start? In church we are taught to be grateful and appreciative for what we have and to thank God for it.  I remember feeling grateful and thankful at times but wanted better or more.  Was I wrong for thinking this way?

Maybe this came after the birth of my beautiful daughter who was born on my birthday October 26^th.  I never wanted to be a single mother but found myself as one. I was a hard working single mother. I had become a certified nurses assistant and I work, worked and worked. I didn’t want to be a statistic and I wanted to make something of my life and provide for my daughter. When my daughter went to school her teachers would say she is the best-dressed kid in the school. I had my own apartment my own car and yet her father would make me feel like I didn’t have enough. He even would say I wasn’t a good mother because I needed help here and there. Just to note verbal abuse is just as bad a physical. Fast forwarded through life all types of things happen; lost of friends, failed relationships, cut off of family, debt, job losses and relocation to a new city.

We all have a past rather good, bad or both. Things I have been through in my past have made me who I am today. God sends us people and allows us to go through situations. My life could have been a lot different and why I was worrying about what I did not have or who I did not have; I wasn’t being grateful appreciative or thankful for what I did have. So I am saying YES to my accomplishments because I am proud of them.  I accomplished being a single mother but I wasn’t I had good friends and some family who helped me. I accomplished being a good dancer; maybe not a professional one but I can win a dance battle or two. I accomplished being a good cook. All I can say is practice make perfect and trial and error. I accomplished being a good friend. I accomplished being creative with my wardrobe. I accomplished being a great lover; I’m a Scorpio need I say more. Lol! I accomplished landing a good job with a decent wage even though I haven’t finished my degree yet. I accomplished being a volunteer. I accomplished being a good sister who shows tough love. I accomplish zip lining and tubing in a river in Jamaica. I don’t even swim...lol guess that is something I need to accomplish.

I can go on a on about the things that I have accomplished rather they were big or small. I hope you take away from this short except from my life that no matter what you have done or will do it is an accomplishment. There is someone somewhere wishing or hoping they have what you have or have been where you have been. What I have learned and continue to learn is I take nothing for granted and I am thankful for all the people, those that are still in my life and those that choose to leave and even those that I have kicked out. They all have helped me to accomplish something. I am grateful and thankful for all the opportunities, the mistakes, the heartbreaks, the disappointment, the good times, the blessings, just life period. I have accomplished living through it all. I look forward to whatever it is that I will accomplish next. 

Saying No to an "Attitude of Entitlement" by Thommi Odom

I had no problem saying YES to a new pair of shoes, a vacation with the girls, a meal at a 5-star restaurant, an extra glass of wine especially if I had a bad day. I felt like I deserved it. I earned a college degree - four if you are counting. I work hard.  I am a therapist and preach self-care to my clients. I gotta practice what I preach, right? I deserve to treat myself, damn it!

This entitlement attitude lead me to establishing some bad habits.  I used food and other material things to reward myself which landed me in debt…emotionally (short term satisfaction), physically (I gained weight from overeating/drinking), and financially (goes without saying).  

I love the way Finance Girl describes this faulty thinking and entitlement attitude in this blog post.

In the past 18 months, I moved 5+ times.  I lost count.  Don't judge me.  I was not evicted or running away from the po-po.  Life happened.  I will leave it at that.  Before that, I was settled in one place for 10+ years.  In the packing, unpacking, repacking cycle, I realized that I had too much stuff.  My boot collection takes up an entire closet. My scarf collection consumes two drawers.  My hat collection,…well you get it. I have a lot of stuff.  

Not one to set a New Year's resolution, I challenged myself not to purchase any clothes in 2016.  Many friends saw this as extreme.  They haven't seen my closets or credit card balance.  Disclaimer just in case you see me in Nordstrom's shoe department: I did not say I would not buy shoes.  I said clothes. Yes, I know I have a lot of shoes, but I believe in incremental steps. Go away. 

This personal challenge has forced me to say YES to self-care in a different language.  I couldn't just whip out my credit card and make a purchase in the name of self-care.  I had to think of ways to say YES to honoring myself that did not cause me to resent it later.  I pulled out a few books that I previously purchased but never made time to read and made time.  I started walking more and exploring new neighborhoods. I also stumbled across this interesting blog that identified rewards that aren't food or shopping related…how timely!

Here I am 6 weeks into my challenge, and I have not purchased clothes or shoes for that matter.  Neither am I tempted.  I am enjoying being more intentional in honoring my self-care and not limiting it to just days when I am stressed or after a huge success.  

Do I still have an entitlement attitude?  YES! 

I am entitled to making time to honor myself every day – even if it is just for 10 minutes.

I say YES to my mental health.  

I say YES to my financial fitness.   By the way, I am on track to pay off the credit card within the next two months!  All my “extra” cash went to the debt.  

I say YES to my physical health.  

I say YES!

P.S. You can learn more about me and subscribe to blog at www.thommiodom.com

Saying Yes to No by Nikki Carpenter

I yearned to be married. YEARNED. Actually, I idolized marriage. The fact that I was single and alone was a very real and present thought every single day. Since I was in relationship with God, it wasn’t long before I was convicted of having another god before Him (Exodus 20:3). Yep, the strong desire to want to be married became my God.

Ever wrestled with God? I can confidently say I thoroughly understand the saying “Your arms are too short to wrestle with God.” His will is sovereign. Period. I could either surrender to it, or choose my own will for myself. Since there’s no place in the world safer than God’s will, I chose His. I got to a place of genuinely asking God what did he have planned for my life, my love life to be specific. God told me to go on a 30 day man fast. After a few days of thinking maybe I made this up in my head, and ignoring the pull, I finally surrendered to God and embarked on a journey of not talking to any men for 30 days.

I wish I could show you the messages and phone calls I received from multiple men. I was tempted to respond to the first few, but after awhile I realized what was happening. God has placed a guard of protection around my heart, allowing me not to enter into another dead relationship, instead preserving me for the man that would become my husband. Why did I wait so long to surrender my will to God again?

Fast forward to today. I’ve found myself in PLENTY of situations where I’ve desperately wanted God to quickly say yes. However, I’m realizing my life has a unique pattern: In my ability to trust God’s “No”, I’ve realized that he’s actually saying yes to His will, which is always sovereign and sweeter.  Out of this experience has birthed my first book “When God Said Yes”, along with an e-book “The 30 Day Man Fast”, which takes women through my experience of not speaking to men for 30 days.

It may sound weird, but in saying no to my desires and accepting God’s “no” with grace, I’ve received my “yes”, and it was so worth the wait.

Learn more about Tanikia and products at  www.tanikia.com